I bought a new coffee pot. So what?
Self growth and awareness is an incredibly hard journey at times. I think when you start out on that journey you think, oooohhh when I'm "healed" life will be all rainbows & butterflies. You quickly realize you will forever be "healing" on this life journey, you just learn better coping mechanisms and how to find peace in the chaos. What does all this have to do with a damn coffee pot though?
I've been slowly purging for a while but recently I've been in hyper purge mode. I feel my theme for 2023 is Intentional & Simplify. I've been looking at all the ways I can simplify my life, reduce clutter, be intentional with my purchases, and reduce waste. I've donated items that are no longer serving me to families in need, trashed things that aren't worth passing on, and donated other items to charity. We have always loved kitchen gadgets and over the years have collected an assortment. We've recently been deciding what needs to go, what needs upgraded, and what stays. We had 2 coffee pots. A keurig with a frother and a small 6cup $7 coffee pot that we bought as a quick backup a few years ago when our nice coffee pot died. Our little cheap coffee pot has been FAITHFUL, been on road trips with us, and simply gets the job done.
I was looking to remove the need for 2 separate coffee pots and have 1 that functions for both pods and carafe. Quetta purchased one from Amazon but after 6 days and several "delays" it still had not shipped so she cancelled the order and decided we could just as easily go the store and pick the exact same one up. When we got to the store and it became decision time I was paralyzed by all the options and ultimately decided on one with a slim design, dual function. We got it home and I was so excited to try it out....we had already washed our other 2 coffee pots and had houses for them to go to!
You guys, I hated it! 🤦♀️ While the wife tried to reassure me that it was just new and different and I just needed to get use to it I had some major feelings start to surface.
-----> First was buyers remorse. Remember me saying I'm trying to be more intentional with purchases? This one was a little more price wise than the one we were originally going to get because the design of it wasn't going to take up as much space as any of the others. I became frustrated that this was a frivolous unnecessary purchase seeing as we had 2 perfectly functioning coffee pots prior.
-----> I was disappointed in the purchase and myself for trying something new. I'm no stranger to new things and often enjoy trying them, with appliances however I generally try to stick to what I know for this very reason. I really had a higher expectation for this than I should have and higher than I knew I actually had. I was let down.
-----> I felt like an entitled snob. Even writing this makes me cringe... what a 1st world problem, to be able to complain that your coffee maker doesn't fit your standard. Ugh
-----> I was thinking I was just gonna have to deal with this coffee maker I hated because A. I hate returning things, I've worked retail and returns suck B. We had used it already C. There was literally nothing wrong it, I was just being boujie and didn't like it
The whole time I'm processing these emotions the wife is reassuring me that it will all be fine, we just need to get use to it. I verbally named all the emotions I was dealing with and felt somewhat better. I went to bed thinking I just need to give this thing a try but deep down I was totally let down and felt disappointed that I would just have to settle for something that I really didn't like when the whole point in purchasing a new one was to eliminate clutter and upgrade for the long haul. I think the act of settling may be the deeper underlying issue here and will intentionally try to unpack this to understand it and myself more.
Unbeknownst to me, before we went to bed my wife had ordered the original one I wanted for pickup the next day. I have a friend that is starting out on her own with her family and is need of some things so I texted to ask if they would want a toaster oven that we were getting rid of and she said yes and asked if we knew of anyone getting rid of a coffee maker as they didn't have one. I still didn't know that Quetta had already bought a replacement that she new I wanted and she casually suggested that we give the new one to my friend. I thought about it for a second, all the feelings started to surface again, but then I found peace in knowing that this was not a waste but actually could be a blessing for this family, and the feelings started to melt away.
The overall point I'm trying to display here is being aware of your feelings, naming them, and learning to cope and deal with them. Had I had to keep this pot I would've adjusted, there would've been no other option. It also gave me introspection into some of the feelings that did surface and why, some more that I need to unpack, and also a happy heart for being in the position to bless someone else when it didn't work out for us and gratitude for having the means to satiate the boujie coffee needs.
*I want to also add that this isn't a putting your burden on someone else. The concept for this coffee pot was what originally drew me in, but the functionality for my family wasn't going to work. We have teens that use the coffee pot (carafe & pods) and there was just too much room for error and mess than what I was willing to have to deal with.
**Pictured is the one we went with and love